Behind the crowds

Contents


  1. Behind the crowds
  2. The Walk
  3. P**try : The Swearword
  4. Eyes in the mirror
  5. The heart unsaid
  6. written in the land
  7. Silent attraction
  8. I try
  9. Book of life
  10. Social Media
  11. We were social and didn’t need the media
  12. He was born
  13. A home built to hold love
  14. Through the eyes
  15. He deeply still loves her
  16. The Door
  17. Love beyond the hill
  18. Corner


1. Behind the crowds


Behind the crowds

& past the clouds

You’ll find me


A father A brother

A husband A poet


Human like you

No better no worse


I am one of the crowd

Just travelling past the clouds

Trying to find me (once in awhile).


2. The walk


Cheers for the walk today

It really helped me clear the mind

Getting rid of all the unneeded thoughts


A long thoughtful walk it was

Beyond the scope of any landscape imaginable

Placing those hard to put into words thoughts

High in the trees so the breeze can take them away


It's hard to find the time to get those few extra steps

To go that little bit further for the mind to get lost

I wouldn't want to stop you from releasing unwanted moments

That just don't belong in the mind today and never should be there tomorrow


Space in the mind becomes a little confined

Like a pressure cooker some steam just escapes if slightly released


With a walk all the talk, thoughts and pressure

Are released carefully being place up in the trees

The breeze comes and takes them away one by one


A walk can clear a thousand thoughts or sort the ones that are stubborn

The view eases the mind and finds ways in which to let things go

Making room for more important elements of life to be thought out clearly


Cheers for the walk today as it really cleared the mind

The pressure has been let go and in the breeze it went


Until the next time whenever you’ll be

The walk will be even more pressured the next time the view is seen.


3. P**try : The swearword


S/He who writes p**try

Swears by it


Swears that it will tell you

How one flipping well feels


Up down

Upside down

Right way round

P**try is how I share

My thoughts


Without ever being taught

My p**try writes itself

From the first word

Until the last


I will swear by p**try

I’ll even swear

To get my point across


You may not care

Read, explore, know

How much this all means

Or even

Why I want everyone

To read my words


But here it is


My p**try

My heart

My everything I have

Just to show you

My thoughts

The love

The worries

The life

That has been written

Into and around p**try

For far too long

To let it go.


4. Eyes in the mirror


The eyes in the mirror

show everything in life

every moment

happy or sad


It sees faces that brought joy

& the faces it brought tears to


Each colour in the eye

I see in everyone I've ever loved


As I look deep into the eyes

I still see your eyes

as they went deeper

more than anyone else's


However this is more

than about one soul

as the eyes in the mirror

have captured everyone's eyes

that in turn captured my heart


Blink and the memories are refreshed

delving further into eyes gone by

I see more and more beauty


Yet some eyes will always be at the forefront

where the sunlight shines

highlighting the brightest colours


All this from a glance

when the eyes look back

to the person I am now


The eyes in the mirror

show everything in life

that is and has been.


5. The heart unsaid


The heart went quiet

but it kept on beating


The heart hasn’t said anything

for a while

but it still feels

for you


Silently saying

I adore you

when I see you


The heart

kept quiet

everything unsaid


It kept on beating

like it has always done

just slightly slower


The heart

gathered itself in

so not to get hurt

once more

as the world

did not always

match

what the heart felt


Through everything

the heart went quiet

except for its beat.


6. written in the land


poetry is written in the land

with the words in the earth

making the landscape we see


so as i walk through fields

over stiles up hills over walls

i walk through the words

gathering them in


i can write the love that i find

from the earth to the hearts that walk upon it

with these words i have collected

piecing together the way i feel


the land has been written

only changing its word between seasons

allowing me to pick up new words

to create new thoughts as i walk

from winter to spring

summer to autumn

& everything inbetween


in any weather

& whether i am in your company

i find the words to write

even if i have to walk further each time

to discover new words to explain

how i feel about you and the world


written in the land are the worlds words

that make me feel like me every day

walking to find them across the land

helps me understand who i am

& where i am going.


7. Silent attraction


Without a word being said

only a look of an eye to another

is all that’s needed for you to show

how you feel inside towards another


The room filled with noise

but there is a silent attraction

between you and I


Your eyes say it

your smile shows it

without a single word

ever being said


Silently we walk the Earth

passing but never dancing

with attraction silenced


Yet without a word being said

everything is

silently.


8. I try


I try

to be the best

dad that I can

fixing bikes

cut knees

amongst

everything else

providing a hand

when an extra one

is required

(& sometimes

when not)


I know one day

I'll have to fix

a broken heart

in the best way

I can't

but I will try

picking up the pieces

making your heart stronger


I try

to be as supportive

as a dad's meant to be

however

not always having

the answer

yet always thinking

of new ways

to be supportive

even if it's just (as usual)

holding your hand

to let you know

I'm always there


I try

even if

I have no idea

what I am doing

thinking on the spot

just hoping it's right

& if it's not

I learnt how not

to do something

today


I try

today

tomorrow

learning from

yesterday

how to be

the best dad

I can be.


9. Book of life


Pt 1.


Rotting photos from years gone by

Times gone by of drink filled times

Or times when we use to be better friends

Sitting on a server doing nothing at all

So many memories you/I don’t even remember


Memories left to rot from time gone by

Lives have changed and our minds moved on

However the photograph remains

Capturing the moment the memory had forgotten


Pt2.


If I had a book of life it would be filled with pictures of you

With every smile and emotion documented

So that we could look back and see the joy, the love

& what we thought at that moment to compare our hearts now


Each and every day I look back at photographs

Somehow remembering that exact moment

As if it was just yesterday not yesteryear

Almost remembering the vibe and the smell of the day


Pt 3.


Lost friends of lost memories of lost photographs

They still all exist somewhere in the world today

But we may not have access to moments captured

As friends have been lost, tossed or just plain forgotten

Are we friends on here or just a place to spy on the world around us


P 4.


When no one else remembers that moment that photograph

& you remember everything and simply cannot forget

What are you meant to do? It’s every moment every photograph

& the moments that lead to the photo and moments after - are remembered

In the greatest of detail that no one will ever want to know or hear (ever)

The unprecedented detail takes up space in the mind

With the mind becoming overcrowded by everything stored away

Those details are the making of the moment that can’t be forgotten


Pt 5.


Beautiful moments captured, first dance, first kiss, first child, second child

Life moments captured in a positive light, a vast positive light

Liked by many loved by more

Our moments captured for us to save and cherish

Always adding to our book of life with new pages every day.


10. social media


I have a hatred

& a love

for you


you help me

hinder me

not on tindr

(I prefer

findus

crispy pancakes)


you help

me explore

& hide

from the world

remembering then

what was

& update

what is now


I see people's

struggles

love

hate

mutters

of

utter shit


you are a

friend

acquaintance

follower

yet no troll


I am

what I am

with

or

without you.


11. We were social and didn’t need the media


We were social and didn’t need the media

I ask myself;

What if social media would have been around in my university days?

How much would have been different? If at all.


I could have checked-in to the pub(s) I was in

Taken photos of people at the house party

Tagged a thousand people who I don’t know today

Catalogued every thought I had each day and with that

Have seen how many people just didn’t care


I could have looked back now to see more memories

As social media reminds me of times gone by from years that passed

I cherish the great uni memories I have stored in my mind

But something tells me it just wouldn’t have been as fun as it was

If the modern world that is now was back then


The best times always remembered by friends who were there

At the end of the night the memories stayed there

With no social media to remind the next day

I felt I could be free to be me every day


However I do wish I had a camera to capture more moments than I remember

Moments of laughter, beautiful views and those random life moments


The days without the social media presence were better than ever

It is only in hindsight that we can look back now and know this

As at the time we just did what we did when our lives were side by side

Through learning the world, our topics and our social ways


I’ll meet you at the yellow (pub), pound a pint all night (Tuesday)

Play some tunes on the jukebox while we eat our scream burgers

(Ffriddoedd on Thursday for pound a pint, a first year delight)

Maybe head to Time (nightclub) for some 80’s (Monday) music

Run up Glanrafon hill at the end of the night, only to instantly regret it


We were social and didn’t need the media

Exploring our world, our topics, our young thoughts

The world at our feet and our feet walked together


There were no filters to hide behind or enhance the moment

The laughter we created, together, each one of us

Was the greatest laughter that I have ever heard


The years may have gone by but I haven’t forgotten you all (and I)

Living and breathing the same Welsh air

Making the best memories that are remembered today

As if they were only yesterday

Only wishing that it could be done all over again


We were social and didn’t need the media

& I’m certainly glad we had our time before social media took over the world

As I felt I could be free to be me every day.


12. He was born


He was born

He was born

This is the greatest of days

A son from his mother

Born on this day


The newest of hearts

To hold next to ours

The world has another smile

As a little hand

clasps my giant finger

With the hope of the world

Ready to be explored


He was born

He was born

This is the greatest of days


One of the only days

I fall in love for the first time

All over again.


13. A home built to hold love


Your home is warm as your heart

Built to hold the love you have for him

With room to be free yet still close to one another


A hill in the view and a walk away

The seasons change but the love will not

A warm hearted home is never far behind


At the end of the day a place to go

& sit in comfort with the one you love

Safe, well and a heart where it’s meant to be


By the fire you'll sit when winter falls

Never worried if you become stranded

Because the one you love will be with you by the fire


The love is strong like the bricks of the house

Strong, stable and always in support of you

Protecting you from the weather, the world


Your home is warm as your heart

The seasons change but the love will not

At the end of the day a place to go

Because the one you love will be with you by the fire

The love is strong like the bricks of the house.


14. through the eyes


living life

through the eyes

of someone else

can do no good


what they see

you may

not believe


what you see

may be

what they

want you

to believe


their life

is theirs

& for you

you make life

through your

own eyes


yet one

cannot help

but look

to see how

your eyes

look

at life

either to

compare

or dream


living through

other's eyes

doesn't define

who you are


your life

by your eyes

defines

who you

actually are


yet we all

dream

& wonder

through the eyes

whether they are

mine or yours.


15. He deeply still loves her


He deeply still loves her

however the world has moved on

therefore those deep thoughts

are to stay buried for the rest of eternity


Looking from the outside

I can see in his eyes

that the love is still there


The smile lingers as long as it needs to

when her words leave her mouth to his ears

but when she has gone

so does the smile


Maybe the history that was there

is too painful to recreate

but to me it looks like they have love unfinished

however the world has moved on


He deeply still loves her

or from what I see I think he does

the old old photographs tell me so

from what I see tells me so


It's the way he acts

seeing his eyes

look across and into hers

the body language

all for her

calm, relaxed


He deeply still loves her

but time has passed

& the world has moved on.


16. The door


The door may have closed once and for all

But I keep on writing as it is all I can do


Words of love, hate and everything in between

Penned from a mind that can think of nothing else


Whether the key has been lost or snapped in the lock

I press my ear against the door to try and hear your words


The door is thick and cold but not very old

So I sit back and write the words that enter my mind


I ponder to whether you are on the other side

Doing the exact same thing as me with just as heavy heart


Again and again I try the door handle to see if it will turn

With no movement I leave the door and stand back


When I realise that the door will never open I pull a pondering face

& at the end of the day it was I who decided to close the door


For once and for all it may be the end of my thoughts and all but what could have been

Will forever be behind the door with no key to open it once more.


17. Love beyond the hill


He held her hand

Over hills through fields

Steady over stiles

Her smile went on for miles


Not only was the view his muse

But like you it was his fuse to write

Igniting my heart to be alive

I thrive when my eyes look into yours


The love felt upon the hills

Doesn’t stop at the field's edge

Nor do the smiles end between stiles


Letting go of one's hand

Doesn’t mean I am letting go of you

As I know you don’t always need my hand

To get over stiles, hills or the challenge ahead

But it’s there for you, always


Until the next hill or countryside path

We’ll walk with a smile on our faces

In all places that we find ourselves


18. Corner


She kissed him on the street corner

but now that corner no longer exists

as time has built over what was

& what was, is now history


In its place are new buildings

new corners to stand

but they're not the same

like the world is now

it's just not the same


Through the window

you can see where the corner was

closing the eyes

you can feel the kiss once more


The opening of the eyes

& a return to the world it is

as a corner that no longer exists

cannot be the daydream of today.