Behind the crowds
Contents
- Behind the crowds
- The Walk
- P**try : The Swearword
- Eyes in the mirror
- The heart unsaid
- written in the land
- Silent attraction
- I try
- Book of life
- Social Media
- We were social and didn’t need the media
- He was born
- A home built to hold love
- Through the eyes
- He deeply still loves her
- The Door
- Love beyond the hill
- Corner
1. Behind the crowds
Behind the crowds
& past the clouds
You’ll find me
A father A brother
A husband A poet
Human like you
No better no worse
I am one of the crowd
Just travelling past the clouds
Trying to find me (once in awhile).
2. The walk
Cheers for the walk today
It really helped me clear the mind
Getting rid of all the unneeded thoughts
A long thoughtful walk it was
Beyond the scope of any landscape imaginable
Placing those hard to put into words thoughts
High in the trees so the breeze can take them away
It's hard to find the time to get those few extra steps
To go that little bit further for the mind to get lost
I wouldn't want to stop you from releasing unwanted moments
That just don't belong in the mind today and never should be there tomorrow
Space in the mind becomes a little confined
Like a pressure cooker some steam just escapes if slightly released
With a walk all the talk, thoughts and pressure
Are released carefully being place up in the trees
The breeze comes and takes them away one by one
A walk can clear a thousand thoughts or sort the ones that are stubborn
The view eases the mind and finds ways in which to let things go
Making room for more important elements of life to be thought out clearly
Cheers for the walk today as it really cleared the mind
The pressure has been let go and in the breeze it went
Until the next time whenever you’ll be
The walk will be even more pressured the next time the view is seen.
3. P**try : The swearword
S/He who writes p**try
Swears by it
Swears that it will tell you
How one flipping well feels
Up down
Upside down
Right way round
P**try is how I share
My thoughts
Without ever being taught
My p**try writes itself
From the first word
Until the last
I will swear by p**try
I’ll even swear
To get my point across
You may not care
Read, explore, know
How much this all means
Or even
Why I want everyone
To read my words
But here it is
My p**try
My heart
My everything I have
Just to show you
My thoughts
The love
The worries
The life
That has been written
Into and around p**try
For far too long
To let it go.
4. Eyes in the mirror
The eyes in the mirror
show everything in life
every moment
happy or sad
It sees faces that brought joy
& the faces it brought tears to
Each colour in the eye
I see in everyone I've ever loved
As I look deep into the eyes
I still see your eyes
as they went deeper
more than anyone else's
However this is more
than about one soul
as the eyes in the mirror
have captured everyone's eyes
that in turn captured my heart
Blink and the memories are refreshed
delving further into eyes gone by
I see more and more beauty
Yet some eyes will always be at the forefront
where the sunlight shines
highlighting the brightest colours
All this from a glance
when the eyes look back
to the person I am now
The eyes in the mirror
show everything in life
that is and has been.
5. The heart unsaid
The heart went quiet
but it kept on beating
The heart hasn’t said anything
for a while
but it still feels
for you
Silently saying
I adore you
when I see you
The heart
kept quiet
everything unsaid
It kept on beating
like it has always done
just slightly slower
The heart
gathered itself in
so not to get hurt
once more
as the world
did not always
match
what the heart felt
Through everything
the heart went quiet
except for its beat.
6. written in the land
poetry is written in the land
with the words in the earth
making the landscape we see
so as i walk through fields
over stiles up hills over walls
i walk through the words
gathering them in
i can write the love that i find
from the earth to the hearts that walk upon it
with these words i have collected
piecing together the way i feel
the land has been written
only changing its word between seasons
allowing me to pick up new words
to create new thoughts as i walk
from winter to spring
summer to autumn
& everything inbetween
in any weather
& whether i am in your company
i find the words to write
even if i have to walk further each time
to discover new words to explain
how i feel about you and the world
written in the land are the worlds words
that make me feel like me every day
walking to find them across the land
helps me understand who i am
& where i am going.
7. Silent attraction
Without a word being said
only a look of an eye to another
is all that’s needed for you to show
how you feel inside towards another
The room filled with noise
but there is a silent attraction
between you and I
Your eyes say it
your smile shows it
without a single word
ever being said
Silently we walk the Earth
passing but never dancing
with attraction silenced
Yet without a word being said
everything is
silently.
8. I try
I try
to be the best
dad that I can
fixing bikes
cut knees
amongst
everything else
providing a hand
when an extra one
is required
(& sometimes
when not)
I know one day
I'll have to fix
a broken heart
in the best way
I can't
but I will try
picking up the pieces
making your heart stronger
I try
to be as supportive
as a dad's meant to be
however
not always having
the answer
yet always thinking
of new ways
to be supportive
even if it's just (as usual)
holding your hand
to let you know
I'm always there
I try
even if
I have no idea
what I am doing
thinking on the spot
just hoping it's right
& if it's not
I learnt how not
to do something
today
I try
today
tomorrow
learning from
yesterday
how to be
the best dad
I can be.
9. Book of life
Pt 1.
Rotting photos from years gone by
Times gone by of drink filled times
Or times when we use to be better friends
Sitting on a server doing nothing at all
So many memories you/I don’t even remember
Memories left to rot from time gone by
Lives have changed and our minds moved on
However the photograph remains
Capturing the moment the memory had forgotten
Pt2.
If I had a book of life it would be filled with pictures of you
With every smile and emotion documented
So that we could look back and see the joy, the love
& what we thought at that moment to compare our hearts now
Each and every day I look back at photographs
Somehow remembering that exact moment
As if it was just yesterday not yesteryear
Almost remembering the vibe and the smell of the day
Pt 3.
Lost friends of lost memories of lost photographs
They still all exist somewhere in the world today
But we may not have access to moments captured
As friends have been lost, tossed or just plain forgotten
Are we friends on here or just a place to spy on the world around us
P 4.
When no one else remembers that moment that photograph
& you remember everything and simply cannot forget
What are you meant to do? It’s every moment every photograph
& the moments that lead to the photo and moments after - are remembered
In the greatest of detail that no one will ever want to know or hear (ever)
The unprecedented detail takes up space in the mind
With the mind becoming overcrowded by everything stored away
Those details are the making of the moment that can’t be forgotten
Pt 5.
Beautiful moments captured, first dance, first kiss, first child, second child
Life moments captured in a positive light, a vast positive light
Liked by many loved by more
Our moments captured for us to save and cherish
Always adding to our book of life with new pages every day.
10. social media
I have a hatred
& a love
for you
you help me
hinder me
not on tindr
(I prefer
findus
crispy pancakes)
you help
me explore
& hide
from the world
remembering then
what was
& update
what is now
I see people's
struggles
love
hate
mutters
of
utter shit
you are a
friend
acquaintance
follower
yet no troll
I am
what I am
with
or
without you.
11. We were social and didn’t need the media
We were social and didn’t need the media
I ask myself;
What if social media would have been around in my university days?
How much would have been different? If at all.
I could have checked-in to the pub(s) I was in
Taken photos of people at the house party
Tagged a thousand people who I don’t know today
Catalogued every thought I had each day and with that
Have seen how many people just didn’t care
I could have looked back now to see more memories
As social media reminds me of times gone by from years that passed
I cherish the great uni memories I have stored in my mind
But something tells me it just wouldn’t have been as fun as it was
If the modern world that is now was back then
The best times always remembered by friends who were there
At the end of the night the memories stayed there
With no social media to remind the next day
I felt I could be free to be me every day
However I do wish I had a camera to capture more moments than I remember
Moments of laughter, beautiful views and those random life moments
The days without the social media presence were better than ever
It is only in hindsight that we can look back now and know this
As at the time we just did what we did when our lives were side by side
Through learning the world, our topics and our social ways
I’ll meet you at the yellow (pub), pound a pint all night (Tuesday)
Play some tunes on the jukebox while we eat our scream burgers
(Ffriddoedd on Thursday for pound a pint, a first year delight)
Maybe head to Time (nightclub) for some 80’s (Monday) music
Run up Glanrafon hill at the end of the night, only to instantly regret it
We were social and didn’t need the media
Exploring our world, our topics, our young thoughts
The world at our feet and our feet walked together
There were no filters to hide behind or enhance the moment
The laughter we created, together, each one of us
Was the greatest laughter that I have ever heard
The years may have gone by but I haven’t forgotten you all (and I)
Living and breathing the same Welsh air
Making the best memories that are remembered today
As if they were only yesterday
Only wishing that it could be done all over again
We were social and didn’t need the media
& I’m certainly glad we had our time before social media took over the world
As I felt I could be free to be me every day.
12. He was born
He was born
He was born
This is the greatest of days
A son from his mother
Born on this day
The newest of hearts
To hold next to ours
The world has another smile
As a little hand
clasps my giant finger
With the hope of the world
Ready to be explored
He was born
He was born
This is the greatest of days
One of the only days
I fall in love for the first time
All over again.
13. A home built to hold love
Your home is warm as your heart
Built to hold the love you have for him
With room to be free yet still close to one another
A hill in the view and a walk away
The seasons change but the love will not
A warm hearted home is never far behind
At the end of the day a place to go
& sit in comfort with the one you love
Safe, well and a heart where it’s meant to be
By the fire you'll sit when winter falls
Never worried if you become stranded
Because the one you love will be with you by the fire
The love is strong like the bricks of the house
Strong, stable and always in support of you
Protecting you from the weather, the world
Your home is warm as your heart
The seasons change but the love will not
At the end of the day a place to go
Because the one you love will be with you by the fire
The love is strong like the bricks of the house.
14. through the eyes
living life
through the eyes
of someone else
can do no good
what they see
you may
not believe
what you see
may be
what they
want you
to believe
their life
is theirs
& for you
you make life
through your
own eyes
yet one
cannot help
but look
to see how
your eyes
look
at life
either to
compare
or dream
living through
other's eyes
doesn't define
who you are
your life
by your eyes
defines
who you
actually are
yet we all
dream
& wonder
through the eyes
whether they are
mine or yours.
15. He deeply still loves her
He deeply still loves her
however the world has moved on
therefore those deep thoughts
are to stay buried for the rest of eternity
Looking from the outside
I can see in his eyes
that the love is still there
The smile lingers as long as it needs to
when her words leave her mouth to his ears
but when she has gone
so does the smile
Maybe the history that was there
is too painful to recreate
but to me it looks like they have love unfinished
however the world has moved on
He deeply still loves her
or from what I see I think he does
the old old photographs tell me so
from what I see tells me so
It's the way he acts
seeing his eyes
look across and into hers
the body language
all for her
calm, relaxed
He deeply still loves her
but time has passed
& the world has moved on.
16. The door
The door may have closed once and for all
But I keep on writing as it is all I can do
Words of love, hate and everything in between
Penned from a mind that can think of nothing else
Whether the key has been lost or snapped in the lock
I press my ear against the door to try and hear your words
The door is thick and cold but not very old
So I sit back and write the words that enter my mind
I ponder to whether you are on the other side
Doing the exact same thing as me with just as heavy heart
Again and again I try the door handle to see if it will turn
With no movement I leave the door and stand back
When I realise that the door will never open I pull a pondering face
& at the end of the day it was I who decided to close the door
For once and for all it may be the end of my thoughts and all but what could have been
Will forever be behind the door with no key to open it once more.
17. Love beyond the hill
He held her hand
Over hills through fields
Steady over stiles
Her smile went on for miles
Not only was the view his muse
But like you it was his fuse to write
Igniting my heart to be alive
I thrive when my eyes look into yours
The love felt upon the hills
Doesn’t stop at the field's edge
Nor do the smiles end between stiles
Letting go of one's hand
Doesn’t mean I am letting go of you
As I know you don’t always need my hand
To get over stiles, hills or the challenge ahead
But it’s there for you, always
Until the next hill or countryside path
We’ll walk with a smile on our faces
In all places that we find ourselves
18. Corner
She kissed him on the street corner
but now that corner no longer exists
as time has built over what was
& what was, is now history
In its place are new buildings
new corners to stand
but they're not the same
like the world is now
it's just not the same
Through the window
you can see where the corner was
closing the eyes
you can feel the kiss once more
The opening of the eyes
& a return to the world it is
as a corner that no longer exists
cannot be the daydream of today.