Wrong side of the gate

Contents


  1. Unfold
  2. Flicker
  3. Wrong side of the gate
  4. Son and father
  5. She doesn’t know
  6. Small fish
  7. Caught in the eye
  8. Unfollow the past
  9. Jigsaw
  10. Unpacking the memories
  11. Warming the frost


1. Unfold


Feelings unfold

Stories told

Before I get too old


I hold onto my hearts gold

Like something that shouldn’t be sold

Yet I no more withhold


My heart unfolds

In front of you

Making bold claims


Feelings unsold

I cannot say anymore


Now I cannot remould the world

To what my heart told

It feels unconsoled


One day the story will be retold

If the heart ever unfolds again

& it’ll never be cold

As there is so much to hold


Before I get too old

Let my heart unfold

Even if left unsold.



2. Flicker


I can feel the flicker of the screens light upon my back

As I hold you close I feel your arm outstretched

Eyes glow as they reach around me to see a screen

It couldn’t be much slicker at times

As I don’t even see the light flicker


I hold you closer with my skin next to yours

Closing my eyes I block the light and the world out

This time that is now is all the time I need

The longer you look the longer I hold you


Looking up I see the light upon your eyes

Fixated I am with your deep eyes

While I hold your one loose hand

I hear your heartbeat tick

Which in turn makes mine quicker


I don’t care if I feel the flicker of light

As I hold you tight next to me

I close my eyes

Feel the tick of your heart

It creates a spark every time

In my heart and mind.



3. Wrong side of the gate


As strange as it feels

I stand the wrong side of the gate

A rusty gate held by rotting wooden pillars


With all of the dreams beyond

I stand on the wrong side of the gate

Roadside I am beside myself

Wanting - Needing to go past this point

To walk off the thoughts of the moment

Fill the mind and body with fresh air, new thoughts


My heart starts to walk over the gate

Through the field to explore and more

But the heart brings me back into line

(the mind certainly groans)

Where I find myself back on this side of the gate


For a walk beyond the gate is for another day

The wrong side of the gate is not for me

Over the fence I need to be

Finding new paths and unexplored stiles


When I’m the wrong side of the gate

I merely just want to escape.



4. Son and father


[as grandfather holds grandson]


Youngest and oldest

Son and father


Grandson and grandfather

Fondest and greatest


Generations together

Hope and wisdom


Knowledge growing

In both minds

No matter what age


Youngest and oldest

Son and father.


5. She doesn’t know


She doesn’t know

As much as it does

‘It’ being my heart

My heart that loves her


All she knows

Is that I am a person

That ‘person’

Being me, in love

With her


Her eyes glint at mine

As my eyes are nothing more

Than a pair of eyes to her

‘A pair’ I say

Of deeply loving eyes

In love with her


Lost in my thoughts

I haven’t taught myself

‘Taught!?’, more like feeling fraught

As she doesn’t know

Will she ever though?

That my heart loves her.


6. Small fish


Just as the sea is settling

& growing into the surroundings

the current pushes hard into deeper water


With no knowledge of this deep environment

it’s back to being a small fish (once again)

swimming slightly lost, at least in direction

a small fish takes longer to reach their potential


In deeper water bigger fish are found

wiser and settled their knowledge is power

with only a few small bites from the small fish

if the fish had a voice it wouldn’t be very strong


To survive and thrive the small fish thinks

learns quickly from others and their surroundings

working with the bigger fish a direction is found

they work together, swim together

becoming stronger, wiser and belonging


A small fish needs the chance to grow

in mind and in size no matter how deep the water

the mind of small fish can take on the bigger

with determination vaster the sea it lives.



7. Caught in the eye


Caught in the eye

A heart from a year

or so or long ago


It was only a glimpse

Like a cursor blinking

Yet a million memories

Came flooding back

In less than a millisecond


Embrace or fade

My mind decided

- I faded

With reason


No time to pause

Like no time to look back


I walked on

Knowing my eye caught hers


A heart gone

Still living

But not now

In my world


Caught in the eye

Reminded

Moved on

Reminiscenced

Smiled

Sadness

Happiness


All from a glance

A look

A face gone by.


8. Unfollow the past


Screen flickers updates and provides

Stories and memories from the past


People from then are no more in the now

Faded hearts as lives followed different paths


There is no thought but to unfollow the past

I wish you well but our hearts are too far apart


Whether it is my failing or others demise

We have to move on and live the life we have been given


Unfollow the past but it will not be forgotten, completely

As it has had it’s time and place in the timeline of life


The time now is to unfollow the past

& capture the now and the future.


9. Jigsaw


We’re like a jigsaw

each piece of life

fitting into place


Every day

a new piece is created

fitting in place

where it needs to be


You and I

are the perfect fit

in every way


Laying next to you

we belong

like each piece of life

we live for


The jigsaw grows

who knows

when it will be finished

as I care to create

many more pieces

to be placed together.



10. Unpacking the memories


Unpacking the memories

I leave them out to be collected

For they are no longer needed here


There was a time for them

But that time is no longer valid

[& with a heavy heart]

The memories are to go


Unpacked and left

I walk away

Not even looking back

They are left and gone


No vein wrenches

Heartbeat calm

It’s been too long

To worry anymore


What’s unpacked

Makes way for the new

I just hope

I don’t get done for littering

To where I left

Memories unpacked.


11. Warming the frost


[excerpt from a future poem - but not too soon]


His/her heart is to warm to be on that cold slab

He/she gave everything he/she could so that I could be warm

If the ground he/she lay in was frosted or snow covered

The heat from his/her heart would melt the earth around him/her


His/her heart wouldn't give in without passing on the love

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without that passing

Yet now that he/she has passed the warmth continues

It continues today as it will tomorrow

Whether the weather is warm or cold